What’s your situation? (Bleach edition)
by chrischin12
Summary: Just another Bleach-ified SNL sketch that I thought might be funny with Bleach characters.


**(Chin here once again with another Bleach/SNL stupid ass idea that I thought might be funny. This isn't an original sketch, this is another Jonah Hill sketch where he hosts a gameshow and begins to ask the contestants if they're single. I don't own Bleach or SNL.)**

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"**It's time for everyone's favorite brain busting game show, what's your situation?"**

A goofy sounding male announcer shouted, receiving a handful of applause from the audience members in the studio.

**"And here's your host, Ichigo Kurosaki!"**

As the logo for the show disappeared, a familiar spiky, orange haired male rushed up to his podium on the left, a grey suit hugged his muscular form. As he waved excitedly at the audience. He adjusted his striped tie.

"Hey everybody, I'm Ichigo Kurosaki! As always we have a great show for you tonight, so let's get right to it." The contestants couldn't help but notice something was odd about the way his voice sounded.

Retrieving a large card from the top of his podium, Ichigo motioned to his contestants.

"Gorgeous contestants, for fifty points, what ethnicity is Yasutoro 'Chad' Sato?" He asked.

A tiny raven haired young woman slapped her button on her own podium, making a _"du ding!" _sound ring.

Ichigo grinned, pointing to her. "Rukia Kuchiki, from the Soul Society!"

Rukia closed her eyes, putting her small hands together and bit her lip nervously. "Umm, is he half Mexican and half Japanese?" She asked, opening her left eye anxiously.

_Ding ding ding ding_ "Very good Rukia!" Ichigo exclaimed excitedly, once again making the other contestants slightly suspicious. Normally, Rukia would have been the first to pick up in whatever it was, but she was too excited to be on TV to even notice.

"Fifty points for you, and you're now on the board. Also, how about a follow up question...just for you!" Ichigo leaned over his podium, staring intently at his friend.

"Rukia, what's your situation?" The orange haired teen asked.

The younger Kuchiki raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, Ichigo?" Rukia asked, confused by the question.

"You know, what's your situation? Like are you single, seeing someone or..?" Ichigo asked, trailing off for her to answer.

Rukia was still sort of taken aback by the question, but answered anyway.

"Oh. Ichigo, you know I'm single right now you idiot. Typical of a blockhead like you to not know." The short woman said, a playful grin spreading across her face.

The substitute Soul Reaper smirked. "Good to know, that's good to know." He said, a bit quieter.

"Okay! Onto our next question, which is from the world of the Soul Reaper captains. What is the name of Mayuri Kurotsuchi's Zanpa-"

Ichigo wasn't able to finish the question, because another contestant had rang her buzzer. One with tan skin, beautiful purple hair and a curvaceous body.

"Yoruichi! Also from the Seretei with the early buzz." The orange haired host said cheerfully.

The former Squad Two Captain placed her hands on her hips confidently. "Isn't it Senbon Zakura?" She asked, a cocky expression now on her beautiful face.

The incorrect answer sound buzzed.

"Ooh, I'm sorry but the correct answer was Ashisogi Jizo!" Ichigo frowned.

"Damn!" She pounded her right fist on the top of the podium.

"But let me hit you with a follow up question. Yoruichi, what's your situation?"

The flash goddess raised both of her eyebrows. "Is this for points, Ichigo?" The ex-captain asked.

"I mean it could be, it could be a lot of points for all we know, ya feel me? So what's your situation?" He asked again.

"Ichigo, you know that Kisuke and I got married a few weeks ago. You were one of the groomsmen for crying

out loud!" She said, her tone of voice rising.

Ignoring her claim, Ichigo shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Ohhhh my god, whyyyy?" He asked, groaning childishly.

"Um, cause I love Kisuke?" She shook her head, narrowing her eyes. Something was definitely off about Ichigo. He never would have forgotten something like that.

The game shows theme suddenly blared through the speakers, the music played while the contestants looked around, perplexed.

"Well, that's the end of the road for Yoruichi! Thanks so much for playing the game!" He shouted over the song, receiving a glare from the Flash Goddess.

"Are you serious? That's it?" She growled, shooting daggers at the teen.

"Yeah! BYE Yoruichi!" Ichigo said, a bit aggressively.

"You're acting super weird Ichigo." She shook her head and angrily stomped off stage.

Not responding, "Ichigo" shifted his gaze over to the last female contestant, her eyes widening. "Nemu, you've been awfully quiet over there!" He grinned, a bit creepily.

"Uh huh." She smiled, a bit concerned.

"You want anything to drink? A water, or daiquiri or somethin'?" He asked.

"I'd really love a question." The quiet woman answered, eagerly wanting to move on.

"Okay! Here's one. Nemu, what's your sitch?" Ichigo asked, cutting right to the chase.

"What does this have to do with the game?" She asked, a hint of irritation in her tone.

"Are you a lesbian? Is that it?" He smiled.

"What's wrong with you?" Nemu asked, narrowing her eyes and shaking her head. "I don't know you all that well, but from what the captains and other squad members have told me, you're the exact opposite."

Ichigo brushed it off. "It's cool Nemu, you're a lesbian, whatever." The theme for the show once again began to play.

"That means that Rukia is our big winner today!" Ichigo dropped his game card and threw both of his hands up excitedly.

"Ichigo, I only answered one question, what's the deal?" Rukia asked, even more confused now.

"Good enough for me!" He said happily. "Let's take a crack at our isolation chamber." Ichigo walked over to a door that led somewhere to a private area of the backstage, previously unseen on camera. He held the door open for the tiny woman. "You have thirty seconds, let's go and good luck!" He then walked in after her.

"Ichigo what the hell? Why are you coming in?" She looked back at him, the door closing behind the muscular teen. "I'm the host, I can do whatever I want!" He chuckled.

A light illuminated the back of the door, revealing the silhouettes of Ichigo standing to the left, and Rukia standing to the right. An extreme lack of space between the two made things especially uncomfortable.

"So gorgeous, what's up?" The substitute Soul Reaper asked, trying his best to sound suave. "Um, what do you mean?" She ran her fingers through her hair nervously.

"I dunno, you tell me." Slowly, he moved closer to her. The already incredibly small amount of space separating the two almost becoming nonexistent entirely. He took her hand, placing it in both of his own.

"Just tell me if I'm winning. You've been acting weird all night, you're starting to remind me of someone. For whatever reason, I can't recall his name."

After a few seconds, She took her hand away from his. "You know, I think I'm gonna step out."

"Wait wait, what kind of music do you like, Rukia?" He asked.

"Bye!" She said, quickly opening the door and running past her podium, offstage.

"Fine, whatever." He rolled his eyes, walking back over to Nemu. "She got weird, huh?" Nemu put her hands close together on top of her podium, looking left to right.

Just then, the game shows theme song played, killing the incredibly awkward silence. "Well, that means we're going to commercial. Don't go anywhere, because after the break, Nemu's gonna try her luck in the isolation chamber." Nemu quickly shook her head.

"No, thanks. I'm really not." She said, backing away from him.

"We'll be right back!" He shouted.

"KON!!!!" A familiar woman's voice yelled, sounding absolutely furious.

Ichigo's eyes widened as he looked past Nemu, a certain purple haired woman charged into him and pushed the mod soul to the ground. She began to beat him senselessly offscreen.

"Ow! Ow! It was so worth it!" He shouted.

Rukia was then seen walking back on stage, both of her hands balled into fists. "YOU PERVERT!" She yelled, punching him some more alongside Yoruichi.

Just then, the real Ichigo walked on stage, clad in his black Soul Reaper robe, Zangetsu swung over his shoulder. He looked over at the commotion and shook his head. "Please don't kill me. That's still my body, ya know."

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(**AN: I apologize if the characters seemed a bit out of character. For example, Yoruichi being married to Kisuke. I couldn't think of any married women from Bleach, so I just said fuck it. Once again, this was a stupid idea that I had and just went with it. Feel free to critique and review. They're always appreciated. Chin out!)**


End file.
